Battle Aftermath In Afghaneeland

 

sexy_waiter_iram_by_loveorbekilled_faded

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Col. Sheena’s ex-Taliban husband

dressed like a waiter

comes up balancing on one hand

a platter of fried chicken & potato salad

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Ever since the wedding with his lovely infidel

Habibullah’s mind has been doing triple flips

One day one way, the next day another

And today he is a really polite waiter

~

He sets the platter down

Infront of the three mouseketeers

Returns to the house to do the dishes

Col. Sheena & her soldier compadres pray & eat

~

Behind the pile of boulders

The last Taliban alive

Takes aim at Sheena right between the eyes

With his trusty AK-47 weapon

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The devastatingly eye-enslaving empress of Pluckame

In her worn torn yellow polka-dot burka

Makes eye contact with the last Taliban alive & winks

The poor boy trembles, pulls the trigger & misses

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The Afghan National Army GIs look at each other & shrug

“This is really good chicken,” one says

The other helps himself to more potato salad

And says, “This stuff is really good too”

~

Habibullah watches thru the window

As the hard brick of jealousy in his chest

Drops into his belly & melts into a gooey lump of love

For the legendary Col. Sheena Johnson…

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Foto-Wanita-Wanita-Muslimah-Terbaru1

Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

Rawclyde!

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text

Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

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art

http://loveorbekilled.deviantart.com/art/Sexy-Waiter-Iram-187265427

http://tentangwanita.com/kecantikan/rahasia-kecantikan-wanita-muslim-arab.html

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Interlude

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Taliban make merry with ample ammo & bullets dance

The Afghan National Army soldier pulls a cell phone out of

One of several pouches on his chest & dials collect

The other ANA soldier grinds his teeth

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A stray bullet ricochets around in the empty cup in his hand

Luckily the cup is made of tin, not porcelain

Then the bullet stands up on the cup’s rim & starts singing

Which adds real & deep meaning to the drama

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Everyone is leaning closer and closer toward the cell phone

The soldier with the little thing up against the side of his head

Makes amiable conversation, smiles a lot

Puts the phone away & says to the other soldier

~

“The captain says to wait a moment”

The other soldier rolls his eyeballs skyward & twiddles his thumbs

The woman in the yellow polka-dot burqa gets up off the old blanket

And floats back to her modest dwelling to replenish the tea pot

~

“What color were her eyes?”

“I believe they were blue.”

“Do you suppose she is the legendary woman?”

“Well, this is Pluckame, isn’t it?”

~

Yes, anything goes in Pluckame

You never know what’s going to happen nex’

Whether it’s a vote gone awry or a bullet in your eye

The invisible village up there on the mountain ridge

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Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

~~~

nuristan-2a

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

Rawclyde

!

Why Don’t You Bend, My Friend?

stalking cougar 2

 

Well

well

my

friend

 

Why

don’t

you

 bend?

 

Be a Cottonwood Tree

so free

below ‘dee

   Deep Desert sky

 

And

let

Idiot World

   pass you by…

 

~

art by R. Geoffrey Blackburn

 http://www.rgeoffreyblackburn.com/index.html

~

go ahead, explore

Deep Desert Blues

http://deepdesertbluesv.yolasite.com/trek-30.php

by Rawclyde!

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Horn Dog

alienren

~

Would you like a

corn dog

with mustard?

~

Or a shorn dog

all that long fur

long gone?

~

Well, I’m a horn dog

cheap cologne, soiled hand-me-downs

hanging on old bones

~

And you, oh pretty woman, ring

in my ragged soul

one thousand telephones

~

Col. Sheena of Pluckame

~

How can I possbily

behave

in front of your photo?

~

sylvanas_windrunner_fantasy_archer_digital_art-faded-2

~

 Saint cupcake delight

your knee perfect & right

twirling this awkward bum

~

blonde-fairy-wallpaper_faded

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Around & around ’til my

latest ambition is to be your

blooming lily-fetching knight

~

over-and-out-2

~

But what do

I do

instead?

~

Col. Sheena Johnson of Pluckame

~

I steal a picture

nail it to the wall

above a narrow bed

~

female-human-archer-2

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Now a monk lights

a candle

in a quaint little room

~

tomb-raider-guerrera-arco-flecha-de-fuego-faded

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A portrait of heaven

lifts up his prayers

out of the gloom

~

smite_gold_neith_by_brolo-faded

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But these words with

wings aflutter

fly up to whom?

~

green_tara_uv

~

None other than The Goddess

smoothly afloat

above Earth’s tombs

~

goddess bait

~

Yours truly

Rawclyde

!

Voting-Card Envy

burqa-clad-women-show-id-001

~~~

by Rawclyde!

~~~

While battling the formidable Taliban

The brave citizens of Pluckame set-up

a voting poll

in a shed owned by one of the elders

~

Everyone in the village has a voting card

Even Ollie & his midget friends have voting cards

Goats & chickens have voting cards hung around their necks

Only Taliban lurking behind distant trees don’t have them

~

From very far away the Taliban share a pair of binoculars

They see even a blind goat is going to vote

In the nationwide election for the next president

Everybody is going to make a difference but not the Taliban

~

Their Al Qaeda leader peers thru the binoculars & grimaces

He says something rude about what he sees

A swift arrow made in the USA cracks thru one of the lens

And sticks out the back of his head

~

As the Arab falls-over a voting card is suddenly revealed

To his “holy war” buddies

It is nailed on the tree beside which their leader has been sitting

They look around ~ all the trees have voting cards…

~~~

(Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

~~~

b and w by Chris Shields

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

~~~

Vagina Envy

vagina_cosmica_by_nietoshka-d386efh

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Yes Sir, the villagers rebuild the mosque

With brick & mortar payed-for by the U.S. Army

Under the supervision of Col. Sheena Johnson

With Taliban breath on the backs of their necks

~

Her Taliban-fodder fiancee mixes the mortar

He & his fellow villagers lay the brick

Too soon, Sheena’s husband Habibullah is wanted dead or alive

In Haqqanni Network lairs high n’ low over Pakistan way

~

There’s a price on his head for lovin’ the beautiful colonel

Taliban bullets sing all around him, his old Taliban friends

Try with flaming sticks to burn out the eyes of his little brother

But in the nick of time Sheena kills them all

~

One of her tricks is to place 3 arrows

Against the taunt string of her bow held horizontally

Only Ollie’s bountiful sister-in-law can do it just right

She pulls the string way back under her chin

~

Before the arrows hit their mark she does it again

like she is the daughter of a machine gun

& that’s exactly what she is

So years ago she had to kill her father too

~

She has no choice, faced with such fearsome vagina envy

Her sleek arms get oh so sore but she doesn’t give up

She throws off her worn & faded yellow polk-a-dot burka

100 extra arrows in the quiver a hanging on her back

~

The village is surrounded by 100 & one Taliban

Nobody knows how she does it

At point-blank range the Talibanees jerk & they miss

At any range they fall in love and they miss!

~

shanna_jungle_by_marcio_abreu_by_tony058-d2zhz6b

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

Rawclyde!

~

Art

http://nietoshka.deviantart.com/gallery/#

~

Text

Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

~

Mosque

Mosque2_02.jpg4fe930e3-9cee-4ded-8593-6617be5a9df1Large

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by Rawclyde!

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God organizes His forces

Bolts of lightning spruce-up the sky

There is much attention to detail

On a minuscule planet among planets

~~~

Afghan village after allied bombing

~~~

Love doves & bleary-eyed mules

Gather ’round the holy-war warriors who are

Full of bullet-flattering burro shit

Killing God’s children & reaping heavenly reward

~~~

Afghanistan Reconstruction

~~~

Ah yes, we doves & mules gather around

We gots bullets & rockets & A-bombs too

If you wanna be a nuisance

Keep on killing like insects do

~~~

new mosque

~~~

What you need is a brain

Fueled-up for the wise adventure

And a heart that

Beats the real rhyme

~~~

Upfront w Christ

~~~

So “suddenly” turns into months

While the village sets-up voting polls

Votes for a president & rebuilds the mosque

Sheena & Habibullah are wed…

~~~

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The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

~~~

(Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

~~~

Road Princess

lucretia_2013_by_l_u_c_r_e_t_i_a-faded

Lucretia

Born & raised in the Ukraine, Lucretia graced my earliest blog, Rawclyde’s Code Room, June, 2011.  On that blog, Lucretia, the model, became Ruthie Root Beer, The Road Princess Of America, the most beautiful heroine in a short novel I penned years before and of which I self-published 100 copies, 1990.  Once I get these things written, I always lackadaisically fail to get them really published ~ like, say, by a New York publisher.  So, presently, this little gem is a free read here on the internet.  And I live quite adequately & happily on social security without being really published.  And Lucretia is still the best & most accurate representative of the road princess, as far as I am concerned.

Incidentally, The Road Princess & Eternity, is a little story about a go-go dancer lost in the Arizona outback in the early ’70s.  A feller who tells her that his name is Eternity, finds her out there out of her mind due to thirst, exposure, and a lack of sleep.  So, what do you suppose happens when you tell a young woman in such a situation that your name is Eternity?

~

The Road Princess And Eternity

a short novel

by

Rawclyde

!

~

free read

~

Taliban Polka

KrsnawithCow

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Col. Sheena Johnson, U.S. Army

Forever, no matter what, with valor

Slips the yellow polka-dot burqa over her head

The silk toboggans down her She curves & rides!

~

Krshna tells a another wild tale

~

Oh oh, Taliban Bullah’s eyes are oat meal

His captured hand sloshes red syrup up & down her arrow

Remember, his hand is pinned to the ruin of the village mosque

Col. Sheena stands there & let’s it happen

~

Tanya-Roberts-likes-what-she-hears

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Eyeball to eyeball, their eyeballs explode heaven

Sheena misses walkin’ down the block to the 7-ll

Sheena becoming Pluckame on the high Nuristan ridge

A dew drop plummets from a cloud passing by

~

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Outta the yellow burqa comes Sheena’s knife sharper than invisibility

Slices off the feathered end of the protruding stick

Habibullah’s hand slips off, he’s free

Musical notes glide outta his eyes singing “Marry Me”

~

RadhaKrishna01

~

Suddenly Taliban surround the broken building

brandishing gun & rocket & stoic hypocrisy

Their holy war now gots only hate within

Gonna punish Habibullah real good for his handsome sin...

~

Radha-Krishna-with-Gopis

~

from Rawclyde!

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

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art

http://www.krishna.com/paintings

~

model

http://www.tanyaroberts.biz

~

text

Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

~

Dervish Whirl

00829_01, Afghanistan, 1980, AFGHN-13342

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by Rawclyde!

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Ollie spin spin spin

All around the ruin of the village mosque

Bump into walls, out hole in a wall

Up the path, thru the gate, into the house

~

Spinning like a top, spinning ’til he drop

A grinning little lass burning lots of gas

A midget dust-devil whirling room to room

‘Til finally he bump Mom & say:

~

“Burqa burqa burqa!”

“Wha?”

“Burqa burqa burqa!”

She hand him a yellow polka-dot burqa & he spin away

~

continue below

~

afghn-133881

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Meanwhile back in the ruins big brother Habibullah

Twist his hand around n’ around Col. Sheena Johnson’s arrow

That so long ago zzzzzzzip thru that hand &

Pin him to the wall

~

He twist his hand around & around

The pain shoot up n’ down his arm

In n’ out his heart

Col. Johnson see Taliban eyes full of hate go gooey

~

Here come little dusty Afghanistani whirlwind

spinning spinning & grinning

Ollie puts Momma’s burqa in Habibullah’s other hand

Bulla hands the holy garment to my denudated U.S. Army colonel…

~

east1_2016733c

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 guest artists:

Steve McCurry

http://stevemccurry.wordpress.com/tag/nuristan

&

Robert Longo

http://www.robertlongo.com

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text:

Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

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