wanted in haqqanni network lairs

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episode 16

Vagina Envy

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Yes Sir, the villagers rebuild the mosque

With brick & mortar payed-for by the U.S. Army

Under the supervision of Col. Sheena Johnson

With Taliban breath on the backs of their necks

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Her Taliban-fodder fiancé mixes the mortar

He & his fellow villagers lay the brick

Too soon, Sheena’s husband Habibullah is wanted dead or alive

In Haqqanni Network lairs high n’ low over Pakistan way

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There’s a price on his head for lovin’ the beautiful colonel

Taliban bullets sing all around him, his old Taliban friends

Try with flaming sticks to burn out the eyes of his little brother

But in the nick of time Sheena kills them all

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One of her tricks is to place 3 arrows

Against the taunt string of her bow held horizontally

Only Ollie’s bountiful sister-in-law can do it just right

She pulls the string way back under her chin

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Before the arrows hit their mark she does it again

like she is the daughter of a machine gun

& that’s exactly what she is

So years ago she had to kill her father too

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She has no choice, faced with such fearsome vagina envy

Her sleek arms get oh so sore but she doesn’t give up

She throws off her worn & faded yellow polk-a-dot burka

100 extra arrows in the quiver a hanging on her back

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The village is surrounded by 100 & one Taliban

Nobody knows how she does it

At point-blank range the Talibanees jerk & they miss

At any range they fall in love and they miss!

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afghaneeland

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(text copyright clyde collins 2015)

calling collect

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episode 20

Interlude

by

rawclyde

!

Taliban make merry with ample ammo & bullets dance

The Afghan National Army soldier pulls a cell phone out of

One of several pouches on his chest & dials collect

The other ANA soldier grinds his teeth

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A stray bullet ricochets around in the empty cup in his hand

Luckily the cup is made of tin, not porcelain

Then the bullet stands up on the cup’s rim & starts singing

Which adds real & deep meaning to the drama

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Everyone is leaning closer and closer toward the cell phone

The soldier with the little thing up against the side of his head

Makes amiable conversation, smiles a lot

Puts the phone away & says to the other soldier

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“The captain says to wait a moment”

The other soldier rolls his eyeballs skyward & twiddles his thumbs

The woman in the yellow polka-dot burqa gets up off the old blanket

And floats back to her modest dwelling to replenish the tea pot

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“What color were her eyes?”

“I believe they were blue.”

“Do you suppose she is the legendary woman?”

“Well, this is Pluckame, isn’t it?”

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Yes, anything goes in Pluckame

You never know what’s going to happen nex’

Whether it’s a vote gone awry or a bullet in your eye

The invisible village up there on the mountain ridge

~

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Afghaneeland Adventure Series

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text copyright clyde collins 2015

Sufi Arrows

2d_woman_archer

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Endless subterfuge becomes entwined in the Afghan run-off election

The Karzai government fires half the election committee

Replaces them with ballot-box-stuffing secret agents

Front-runner Abdullah Abdullah begins a protest movement

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Ballot-box-stuffing secret agents?

Col. Sheena Johnson & her side-kick Mysterious Mamoodia

Two archers extraordinaire take articulate aim

From Capt’n Fiddler’s Sufi Bubble floating above Afghanistan

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Hafiz Qari and Yousef Ahmadi

Stuff ballot boxes merrily in a tiny village

Lost in the outermost dusty districts of Afghanistan

In a village of 40 people 4000 votes for the runner-up materialize

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Thunk!  Yousef’s eyes pop out

He’s got a sudden headache, a split-second later is knocked out

An arrow stuck in the top of his head

Special delivery from Mahmoodia of Pluckame

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Capt’n Chuck Fiddler’s Afghaneeland Sufi Bubble

Takes extraordinary strides across Afghanistan’s pale blue

Arrows rain-down on ballot-box stuffers, they’re all knocked out

& a big bubble of miracle heads-out over the sea

~

Can an impossible bubble like this make a difference?

Maybe in a head or two somewhere & that is all

God only knows how the ripples from one pebble thrown in a pond

Spread & spread across the universe!

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Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

Rawclyde

!

(Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

Rug Rats

640x521_14005_Shadow_Sentinel_2d_fantasy_warhammer_elf_archer_girl_woman_picture_image_digital_art

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by Rawclyde!

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The brave people of Pluckame

Witness a convulsion of miracles in their village

In the wake of ex-Taliban Habibullah’s marriage to

Col. Sheena Johnson, errant U.S. Army

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Habibullah’s resplendent wife via her inner ear is the recipient

Of the whispered guidance from afar of Saint Joan of Arizona

The reincarnation of Saint Joan of Arc

Whose trip from Mars to Earth is a tale in which we will not indulge here

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Kamdesh Village

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I guess the exit of the U.S. Army out of Nuristan Province

And the mysterious return of the legendary colonel

Have expanded the probabilities of divine intervention

So that miracles occur one after another in Pluckame now

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Such as the crash landing of yours truly

Capt’n Chuck Fiddler, retired U.S. Army

An artificial limb gone astray & my last leg broken

I lay in a coma and, alas, alive

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In the corner of a back room in the humble home of the happy couple

Lay I in prostrate idiocy & miraculous survival & the ceaseless sacrifice

Of Habibullah’s cousin the unfathomable Mamoodia

Without her deft manipulations I would have died a long time ago

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640x481_19838_Yue_2d_fantasy_girl_woman_archer_picture_image_digital_art

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Lying in a seemingly endless coma I have managed to penetrate

The innermost laboratories of my dumb-ass brain to such a degree that

I have figured out how to miniaturize on a tiny magic carpet & fly

in & out of my left nostril to explore the doings of this household

~

Of course,  flying around in such a remarkable state amongst the

Brothers, sisters, parents, grand parents, aunts, lost uncles, dug-up ancestors &

Other popping in & out neighborhood orphans of Habibullah’s household

I couldn’t help but get discovered by ~ rug rats!

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Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

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archer art

http://digital-art-gallery.com/picture/gallery/archer

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text

Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

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