Capt’n Chuck Fiddler

hijaz-Ali

~~~

by Rawclyde!

~~~

Sunrise, sunset, I go about

My daily intrigues without too much alarm

Eating at the cafe & reading the newspaper

Squinting quizzically at the questionable clientele

~

Mohawks, tattoos, loose women & barbie dolls

So much diversity in the American lifestyle

I’ll have one more cup of coffee please

Before I go to the hazy crazy valley below

~

Other than a lopsided nose & a back with a bolt or two missing

I have no real problems as memories get glazed over

And war wounds hobble along in

A lovely land of free-will & democracy

~

With one marble eye, one fake leg

Capt’n Chuck Fiddler, yours truly, pays the bill

takes another glance at the paper, low n’ behold

There’s Col. Sheena Johnson, so profound, so bold

~

In her customary little slipping & sliding cat-hide rag

Yellow hair waving, baby blues beaming, casual stance

She’s advising native villagers in Afghanistan

in a recent photo right here in the daily paper!

~

So she inexplicably shows up again

In that far away land of tremulous doubt

Where the women are rising & men kill for one sick goat

Where you’re blamed for everything as you try to help them out

~

Jesus Christ & Mohammed too, have mercy on us all

I have to go back, say “hello” one last time

To she whom I have worshiped obeyed & missed my whole life long

What’s the name of the hamlet where she has appeared?

~

My one good eye, it squints, it strains, line after line

Tears spill, overjoyed, I can barely see

The name of the place, I search for it exasperatingly

I wipe my eye!  I see!  The village of Pluckame!

~

(Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

~

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https://oldtimerchronicle2.wordpress.com/2013/10/16/afghans-fend-off-taliban-threat

~~~

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

~~~

Lament for Long-Gone Col. Johnson

cannibal_bikini_by_kynokefalos-d68m8r5

Col. Sheena Johnson

~~~

by

Rawclyde

!

~~~

I try to report what is true

Read ‘tween the lines of stories I find

Look for photos that do not lie

Bumble & stumble around the distant war

~

From an easy chair thousands of miles away

My penetration is shallow indeed

Will peace get forged one way or another in that far away land

Does anyone in America know ~ Afghanistan?

~

My infinity machine doesn’t always work right

And flying saucers are so undependable

Every time I think I’ve landed on that nation’s sand

I end up in a ridiculous bubble ~ called Afghaneeland

~

I lost the most beautiful woman on the planet Earth

Col. Sheena Johnson, U.S. Army

In the mirage-brimming bubble of Afghaneeland

A blue burqa dangling from my trembling hand

!

~~~

(Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

~~~

afghanistan02

Afghaneeland

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

~~~

top photo:

Cannibal Bikini by Kynokefalos

http://www.deviantart.com/artisan/?q=+kynokefalos

~~~

bottom photo

courtesy of U.S. Army

http://www.goarmy.com

~~~

The Strange Reality of Afghaneeland

michael_parkes_14_2

~~~

by Rawclyde!

~~~

The blue burqa lay crumpled on the deck

The garment inside of which Sheena disappeared

It lay there still & foreboding ~ a secret passage

Into a higher realm of heavenly grace

~

Where had I bought it?  Who had sold it to me?

I had bought it at a noisy bazaar in a rickety village

downright invisible on a high mountain ridge

in Nuristan Province of strange strange Afghanistan

~

My country is at war in this so-called graveyard of empires

We’re not trying to win anything, we’re just getting out

Leaving behind us a slim potential for peace

For a poor-boy population that knows only violence

~

But these skinny people must know more than that

One of them, an old Sufi

Bejeweled In worthless glass beads & holy cards

Sold me this silly cloth inside of which a woman ~ poof ~ gone!

~

The legendary Col. Sheena Johnson, U.S. Army

Of bold body & firm limb, of unconquerable beauty

Shed her uniform to range near & far in a scant loin cloth

The Taliban couldn’t hit her ~ made to instantly love & miss

~

She was supposed to leave that war-torn land

She had become a detriment to the war effort

Rarely in uniform, never in a burqa!

‘Til I gave her this blue one while riding outta there…

~~~

(Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

~~~

art-kb_parkes_michael-sufi_master-e1389727135221-2

Art by Michael Parkes

http://www.betweenmirrors.com/2013/01/michael-parkes-fantasy-art-magic-realism.html#.UtWOP233uM1

~~~

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

~~~

Blue Burqa Destiny

burka1

~~~

by Rawclyde!

~~~

So that’s my story & I’m stickin’ to it

Of the girl next door with whom I blew it

She’s still a colonel & I’m an old tramp

writing tall ones beside my reading lamp

~

Afghaneeland, oh Afghaneeland, we had our thrills

They come, muskets blazing, my backbone a thousand chills

But that girl, a woman now, a legend now

Has captured & carried away my soul somehow

~

So bold was she, so wild & free was she

On the saucer outta there a gift I give to thee

Aye, as from Afghaneeland we float thru the sky

Here’s a little gift in remembrance of you & I

~

Sitting nex’ me in your teeny-weeny buckskin

As we dash across the sky ‘neath God’s almighty chin

Oh Sheena, my Sheena, Col. Sheena Johnson ’til death

I’ll love you always way way beyond my final breath

~

I hand to thee a little something bought & gift-wrapped

So divine when you move all my dreams in the face get slapped

You take it, unwrap it, squirm with a questioning regard

At the blue burqa in your hands you squint so hard

~

What can I say but that the garment adds a new dimension

To your awesome display of leadershipful I-dare-not-mention

Oh goddess, I love thee like all planets a-journey

around the sun, so kneel I to adore your pure knee

~

Time passes slowly as we pass over the sea

In this U.S. Army saucer afloat lackadaisically

You sit so stiff in your new burqa next to sleepy me

I doze, I awake, you sit so still in my gift to thee

~

It covers you so completely in such a modest way

I wonder if it also stops you from having anything to say

I ask you several questions, no word or nod is your reply

The burqa falls to the floor, I let out a horrid cry

~

It appears Col. Sheena Johnson is no longer here

I sit all alone in a flying saucer I fear

Her holy war proves to be not the same as mine

Has she mystically returned to Afghaneeland like ~ like sunshine

?

Sheena Sunshine

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

(Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

~~~

Col. Johnson & The Holy War

rs-kind-nine-will-not-return

~

A holy war booms inside my mind

A jihad call to a platoon of infidel thoughts

Arrives like a missile in the night

Really being holy, delivers a benevolent light

~

A secret agent steps out of the smoke

He’s wearing a suit and tie and a lopsided grin

“It’s time to go,” he says to the colonel & me

“Your score is zero, you’re too damn free”

~

Col. Sheena Johnson smiles & says, “I know”

(She’s been too out-of-line for this road show)

The agent points to the ship, we step thru the door

As a bird flies around cawing “Nevermore!”

~

Some tales float skyward, others whither nearby

This one is detrimental to the war effort

So Sheena & me, we bow low & grand

And our ship floats away from Afghaneeland.

~

flying-saucer

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

from Rawclyde !

~~~

(Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

~~~