eye contact

https://baztab.news/source/134

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episode 22

Battle Aftermath In Afghaneeland

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Col. Sheena’s ex-Taliban husband

dressed like a waiter

comes up balancing on one hand

a platter of fried chicken & potato salad

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Ever since the wedding with his lovely infidel

Habibullah’s mind has been doing triple flips

One day one way, the next day another

And today he is a really polite waiter

~

He sets the platter down

Infront of the three mouseketeers

Returns to the house to do the dishes

Col. Sheena & her soldier compadres pray & eat

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Behind the pile of boulders

The last Taliban alive

Takes aim at Sheena right between the eyes

With his trusty AK-47 weapon

~

The devastatingly eye-enslaving empress of Pluckame

In her worn torn yellow polka-dot burka

Makes eye contact with the last Taliban alive & winks

The poor boy trembles, pulls the trigger & misses

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The Afghan National Army GIs look at each other & shrug

“This is really good chicken,” one says

The other helps himself to more potato salad

And says, “This stuff is really good too”

~

Habibullah watches thru the window

As the hard brick of jealousy in his chest

Drops into his belly & melts into a gooey lump of love

For the legendary Col. Sheena Johnson

~

rawclyde

!

text copyright clyde collins 2015

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Afghaneeland Adventure Series

the afghaneeland epic continues !

Col. Sheena Johnson, U.S. Army

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episode 23

Capt’n Fiddler Parachutes Into Pluckame

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Ahhhhhhh, catapulting soaring roaring glory!

The boldness, the common sense of the U.S. Secretary of Defense!

Chuck Hagel has sold the entire U.S. Air Force’s A-10 Warthog Fleet

To the Afghan National Army for one dollar!

~

With a lot of training & expensive accoutrements

Now the ANA gots its own aging, rattling, deadly air-support

This Chuck is proud of that Chuck

For doing the right Chuck Chuck thing!

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I am Capt’n Chuck Fiddler of the U.S. Army

Pulling my ripcord over the Nuristan Province of

Not Afghanistan, but Afghaneeland

A bubble full of wishful thinking inside my mind

~

A tiny dumb-ass bubble that refuses to pop

But that floats like a prayer in the ethereal reaches

Of a poor old soldier’s mind, so yes

I am parachuting out of a Warthog aeroplane above Pluckame!

~

Inside this strange bubble that will not stop

I’ve been training Afghan soldiers to fly

Now like a rain drop I am about to plop

At the feet of Col. Sheena Johnson

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I shall serve wherever my empress be

Be it Afghanistan & be it free

So I float from above

To back the colonel’s love!

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Yes, I float & whirl & twirl

Caught in a vortex of air swirling grand

Afghaneeland’s atmosphere gots a mind of its own

It looks like I’ll never land!!!

~

rawclyde

!

Afghaneeland Adventure Series

text copyright clyde collins 2015

a new breed in the village

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Deception & camouflage & secret looks

Secret codes & secret trails to secret nooks

The glint of a knife & someone suddenly gone

Someone trusted suddenly faking a yawn

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The U.S. Army colonel & her ex-Taliban spouse

Sneeking in & out of your very own house

Growing crooked, growing mean

A sudden realization that you’re a human being

~

Looking for God, looking for a friendly nod

Cleaning the dead enemy’s weapon with oil & rod

Not getting too rude while cooking some food

Trying to get some sleep but only able to brood

~

Then ye notice the bow, look close at an arrow

Accidentally shoot a poor innocent sparrow

Get the Goddess from God knows where

To finally see you & share

~

Some of her knowledge, some of her skill

Secret lessons, a miracle, a talent to kill

Hide like a gloomy secret agent everything that you are

An infinitely shining rapidly rising morning star

~

by Rawclyde!

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Afghaneeland Adventure Series

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text copyright clyde collins 2015

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Sheena Time!

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Whad-a-ya do with a girl like Sheena Johnson?

Kills her dad, loves her mom, makes a bomb

Throws it thru the door of the boy’s locker room

Number one in class, will kick your ass

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Whad-a-ya do with a girl like that?

I’m living next door, doing a chore

Suddenly there she is in the driveway

Wearing a shredded washrag, calling me a fuckin’ fag

~

My God, what am I supposed to do?

Here’s the girl next door making me her bottom floor

I’m working hard to be to be to be a man

She laughs & dares me to jump outta the frying pan

~

The towers collapse in two-thousand-&-one

There’s Sheena standing there ~ the daughter of a machine gun

Stands there in my driveway as if the Princess of Mars

Enlists in the army & I follow, my eyes full of stars!

~

Afghaneeland

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The Elder Inside The Sufi Bubble

 by Rawclyde!

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Tiny bubbles & colossal bubbles

All kinds of bubbles blowing in the wind

Full of Sufi miracles

Impossible to comprehend

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Capt’n Chuck Fiddler’s Afghaneeland Bubble

Inside which resides the mountain ridge

On which is perched the village of Pluckame

Now hovers above a borderland of Afghanistan

~

~

Afghan National Army soldiers fire their guns

The Taliban keep a comin’ outta Pakistan

Faraway Iraq sucks up American air support

But for one strange bubble in the sky

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Capt’n Chuck Fiddler’s Afghaneeland Bubble

The most viable support Afghan soldiers have got now

From the United States or from their own nation

Has them buffaloed & worried

~

~

No Afghan president yet to replace the old one

American firepower as good as gone

Pakistan nextdoor going nuts, refugees everywhere

And Taliban!

~

40 soldiers surrounded by 1,000 screaming enemy

And 10,000 ricocheting singing bullets

 Repeatedly look up & pray for a stray Warthog aeroplane

But all they see up there is a bubble!

~

~

Capt’n Chuck Fiddler’s Afghaneeland Bubble

Offers them as much soothing consolation as an unarmed goat

With a bell around his neck warning every Talib in the vicinity

That he is lamb-chops sneeking around

~

One Afghan patriot, Pvt. Ghani Gandhara, gets a bullet in the belly

Moans, gazes futiley at the sky & spies the damn bubble

 That pretends to be a Sufi miracle floating amidst the tumultuous clouds

 The wounded private cries out, “Ah shit!  Allah loves the Taliban!!!”

~

~

One of the oldest living faces on planet Earth shows up

Magnified magnificently on the soapy orb above the profusely bleeding soldier

And, thusly, an elder of the village inside it speaks forth to Pvt. Gandhara

“Have faith.  It’s all you’ve got right now.”

~

~

Tiny bubbles & colossal bubbles

All kinds of bubbles blowing in the wind

Full of Sufi miracles

Too wondrous to comprehend

~

Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

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Text / Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

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ANA soldier photos by Victor Blue

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/asia/photographer-embeds-five-day-clearing-mission-afghan-troops-n177381

~~~

Incidentally

books by independent author Jnana Hodson: 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/401122

via Smashwords ebooks

~~~

An Order From Col. Sheena Johnson

651433-sheena1b

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by Rawclyde!

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The legendary Col. Sheena Johnson, errant U.S. Army

Notes after some observation & navigatory calculation

That Capt’n Chuck Fiddler’s Afghaneeland Sufi Bubble

Is floating over Murrieta, California, U.S.A.

~

The despicably beautiful colonel also notes

She is entrapped inside this orb

Manufactured out of unreal soap from the captain’s mind

But she is of higher rank & can issue orders thusly

~

However neither her or he is officially of the U.S. Army now

Each in actuality is a free moral agent of world reality now

But then again once a soldier always a soldier

So Capt’n Fiddler, although retired, will take an order

(From the devastatingly beautiful colonel)

~

She stands over the comatose body of the captain

Lain so wounded on the mat in a back room of her house

In the village of Pluckame on the Nuristan Province mountain ridge

That is enclosed inside Fiddler’s impossible bubble

~

Complication on top of complication has arisen

How can she issue an order to one in a coma?

Well, she simply verbalizes outloud, “Capt’n, blow this bubble back

To Afghanistan or I’ll cut off your balls.”

~

Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

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Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

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Flying Booger

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by Rawclyde!

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“Why do you look so close, so long

At this twilight sleeper’s face?” asks Mamoodia

Of Ollie who sits forever on my chest & peers

Up the nose of my unmoving physical self

~

“Because,” says little Ollie to his most beautiful cousin

“A tiny man on a magic carpet flies in & out

The sleeper’s crooked nose & I wanna know where he goes

So I can catch him & keep him in a jar”

~

Meanwhile below the floating Afghaneeland bubble

In the bubble-blowing war-torn land of Afghanistan

Those Afghans with Sufi arrows stuck in the tops of their heads

Wonder why they cannot remove the protruding feathered sticks

~

“Oh Ollie,” says Mamoodia to her little curious cousin

“Why must you imprison in a jar

This tiny man on his tiny carpet?

Why not let him be, flying around happy & free?”

~

Little Ollie looks up at bedazzling Mamoodia

Her naked navel nibbles at his little-boy eyes ’til

His soul is a bowl of pudding in Mamoodia’s hands

& Ollie cries out, “he is a flying booger!”

~

Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

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Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

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Sufi Arrows

2d_woman_archer

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Endless subterfuge becomes entwined in the Afghan run-off election

The Karzai government fires half the election committee

Replaces them with ballot-box-stuffing secret agents

Front-runner Abdullah Abdullah begins a protest movement

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Ballot-box-stuffing secret agents?

Col. Sheena Johnson & her side-kick Mysterious Mamoodia

Two archers extraordinaire take articulate aim

From Capt’n Fiddler’s Sufi Bubble floating above Afghanistan

~

Hafiz Qari and Yousef Ahmadi

Stuff ballot boxes merrily in a tiny village

Lost in the outermost dusty districts of Afghanistan

In a village of 40 people 4000 votes for the runner-up materialize

~

Thunk!  Yousef’s eyes pop out

He’s got a sudden headache, a split-second later is knocked out

An arrow stuck in the top of his head

Special delivery from Mahmoodia of Pluckame

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Capt’n Chuck Fiddler’s Afghaneeland Sufi Bubble

Takes extraordinary strides across Afghanistan’s pale blue

Arrows rain-down on ballot-box stuffers, they’re all knocked out

& a big bubble of miracle heads-out over the sea

~

Can an impossible bubble like this make a difference?

Maybe in a head or two somewhere & that is all

God only knows how the ripples from one pebble thrown in a pond

Spread & spread across the universe!

~

Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

Rawclyde

!

(Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014)

Floating Above Afghanistan

Shakara Ledard

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“What’s going on?” says Mamoodia, her miracle belly

Quivering charmfully in a cold morning breeze

Her belly button puckering up & alert for a clue to today’s events

“We seem to be in a bubble floating in the sky”

~

107391

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Sheena grimaces & she surmises, “Fiddler’s doing”

She & I know each other like 2 buds on the same bush

Mamoodia, my savior, replies to Sheena, my other savior

“Uncle Chucky’s coma has him, & us too, soaring”

~

bhutto_obit_1227

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Sheena shakes her head scornfully

The two half-naked women stand on the mountain ridge

Well away from Pluckame, the Afghan village

Which is totally isolated now in Capt’n Chuck Fiddler’s Sufi Bubble

~

GoddessDanceW

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Which is just as well because women like this

Would not get along too well in war-torn Afghanistan proper

The whole mountain ridge is in a bubble now

Floating across the pale blue above Afghanistan!

~

MFP-SS12_9

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On my tiny magic carpet I twirl like an insect

Around my two favorite ladies of the universe

Then return to my prone comatose body

Entering thru the wide-open corridor of my left nostril…

~

Fiddler's Magic Carpet

Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

Rawclyde!

~

Text Copyright Clyde Collins 2014

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additional reading by

Jennifer Paetsch

https://www.smashwords.com/extreader/read/358620/1/ghost-of-doors

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